So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
