I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
