well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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