i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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