Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
