Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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