So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
