you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
