When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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