The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
