Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
