First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
