Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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