Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
