this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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