i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
