somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I need to calm my uterus...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
