You're so nebulous sometimes
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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