Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
