Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
