I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
