Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
When did angry sex become our thing?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i believe in u and ur pee
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
