i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
