I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
