Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i out mim tonsoeep
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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