Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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