You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
