ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Less talking, more tequila
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
