dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
