she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
