Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
