Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
where are you?
Hypothermia
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
