I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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