Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
