i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
