All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
