He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
