there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i dont even know how to be here
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
