How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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