He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
