did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
