so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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