He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
