you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
