Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
then he tried to convert me to islam
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Randomize
