I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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