We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize