and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
