You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
