Just fell off a train. Bad.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
