Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
