Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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