I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
