Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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