after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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